James Talks (Mostly) Books

As you may have noticed, I have been inactive on BL for most of the year. This is why.

I have struggled with social anxiety and depression all of my life; my first diagnosis came when I was five years old. I had coped, relatively well, for over a decade without meds, holding down jobs, living alone, making friends, the whole thing.

That all changed in April. Not only was I unable to go to work, I was unable to call in because I'd have to talk to someone. I would go days without eating because I couldn't face the grocery store. I stopped seeing my friends.

I attempted suicide, twice, and was admitted into a hospital each time.

I was evicted from my apartment, on what was probably the worst day of my adult life.

I had to move back in with my mom, in Texas, after a decade in Denver, my home.

So yeah, it sucked.

I am doing much better now. I am on meds, have a therapist, and am on disability. I am not currently working, and don't know if I'll ever be able to hold down a job again, which sucks; I've always been the kind of person to throw my whole self into my jobs, to the point where they often defined me.

Now you know. Talk to you soon.